we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
