Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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