Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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