Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
