I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
