she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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