i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
