whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
