garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
if you like me you must not know who I am
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
