is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
