Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
false alarm, still single
Randomize
