dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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