I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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