I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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