Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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