There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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