Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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