so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
