She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
