I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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