im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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