College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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