listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
