I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize
