i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
