We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
