im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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