hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
