and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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