So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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