Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Randomize
