i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
