I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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