I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Randomize
