I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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