who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
