How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I love having hate sex.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
