i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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