Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
