All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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