Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
