that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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