Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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