the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
