A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
