i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
