I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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