the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
