I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
