I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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