You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
