At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I think i got beer on your cat.
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